I am a ROCKSTAR!

Copied from my MySpace blog. Originally posted September 14, 2006.

Last night, Toronto's Lukas Rossi won the lead spot in super band Supernova. How huge is that? He will be singing for a band that includes the guy with the huge weiner who filmed himself banging Pamela Anderson. You know, what's his name.

So this is the second Canadian in a row to win the Rock Star show, after Nova Scotia's J.D. Fortune won the lead spot in INXS last year. So, two seasons, and both times a Canadian has won.

Being a professional statistician (that may be a stretch, since I failed level two stats in marketing school, but humour me, ok?) I have been crunching some numbers.

(a) 2 Canadian Rockstars out of 2 shows is a 100% Canadian Rockstar rate. This means that (b) 100% of Canadians are Rockstars. (I left out some of the complex formulas that helped me get from point A to point B and arrive at that conclusion so this wouldn't get too difficult to follow for the layman).

If I had known this all along, I would have gone to Hollywood or something instead of cooking school. All this time, I thought I couldn't sing, dance, or do anything related to being a rockstar. But statistics don't lie. Clearly I am meant to front some super rock band, as are all Canadians.

From now on, when I am singing, and people laugh, or ask me to stop hurting their ears, or their dogs' ears, I will tell them to kiss my ass. Because that's what rockstars do.