Sunday, November 18, 2007

And no guns either, please!

The convenience store across the street from my house has a sign on the window that says No masks allowed in the store (such as ski masks).

Can you think of any reason to wear a ski mask into a convenience store other than to rob it? I can't.

So, I guess when a gang of guys pulls up in front of this store, ready to storm the joint with their guns out, one guy is like "shit, we can't hit this place - no ski masks allowed. We'll have to try someplace else."

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Dear McDonald's

Dear McDonald's Canada:

I recently visited one of your stores, in Scarborough, ON. It was McLovely. I had a quarter-pounder combo. It was McDelicious!

Anyhow, I checked my McDonald's Monopoly game piece and found that I won a muffin! In fact, the game piece says that I have won "any baked muffin" or, "tout muffin cuit au four". This is very generous of you, McDonald's. Thank you. I will be coming into my local McDonald's location this weekend to collect my prize. But I do have a question I need answered before I do.

You see, I don't like McDonald's muffins, but since you have generously offered to give me "any" muffin, I would like to cash in my game piece in exchange for a Tim Hortons Fruit Explosion muffin. They are so delicious.

So, when I come in to collect my muffin, should I call the store ahead of time, to give them a chance to go pick up the muffin at Tim Hortons, or do they keep a supply of competitors' muffins on hand? I expect that they do keep them on hand, given the broad offer of "any" muffin. But I just want to make sure.

Or do you have some sort of deal with Tim Hortons where I can just take my prize claim whatsit into them and they will accept it?

If you could please let me know before this weekend, I would appreciate it. I can taste my muffin already. Thanks!

Llove,

Lloyd

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

See?

It's only a matter of time before we will start living what we used to think of as science fiction. Just look at what I reported in my blog yesterday here. You don't think that proves that humankind is on the verge of major space exploration and meeting aliens? Well, consider the fact that U.S. Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich claims to have seen a UFO! PROOF! I mean, we all know that crazy people don't run for President.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Why aren't the news agencies reporting this?

I was happy to see this image on my tv screen recently. I had to take a picture of it. I knew that the world was about to change for the better, for ever. But since then, I haven't seen any news reports about it. I don't know why. It's huge! I suppose it's being kept a secret so the general population doesn't freak out just yet. But they couldn't keep it from my eagle eyes. Check out what I noticed - the crisis in Pakistan is about to get straightened out. Because Starfleet is on the job!
Starfleet to solve the Pakistan crisis
I guess it's no time before the Klingons arrive.