Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Attention New Brunswick Parents

Hey parents, do your kids kind of drive you crazy? I mean, I know you love them. Like, more than anything. But do they still drive you a little nuts?

Do they do things like 
pee on the floor? 
Obsess over their private parts? 
Beg you to let them stay up later every single night, even though you've said no for several hundred nights in a row? 
Fight with each other over one toy, even though there are four thousand other toys in the house?

Does your two-year-old say "why?" more times in an hour than the smurfs said "smurfy" in all the episodes of The Smurfs put together?

Are you exhausted? I'm talking about the kind of exhausted you realize you are when you've put your toddler in the tub, play with him, wash him from head to tummy, then realize he's still dressed from the waist down?

Does tidying your house go something like this?

1. put away the toys in one kid's room
2. put away the toys in the living room
3. put away the toys in another kid's room
4. put away the toys in the last kid's room
5. think "wow, I'm done tidying up"
6. put away the toys in the first kid's room again
7. put away the toys in the living room again
8. put away the toys in the second kid's room again
etc, for ever and ever and ever and ever....

Do you have to say things to your kids that any non-parent would never believe a human being would have to say to another human being? Things like "How many times have I told you to stop licking the floor?" or "Get your toe out of your brother's butt!"

Do your friends without kids just not get it?

Well, I get it. 

I've been a parent for 8 years, and performing stand-up comedy for 7 years in venues across Canada and in the US (including having been selected as a top-10 finalist out of 700+ entrants in Canada's Next Comic competition.) Maybe you've heard me on Sirius Satellite Radio, or on CBC Radio.

So come on out to my solo comedy show "Funny, Daddy" on Friday, April 19 in Saint John and hear some of the stories about how parenting has made me a little crazy, despite being the best job I've ever had.

It'll be like crazy parents anonymous. Except without the anonymous part, because that would be a terrible way to market a comedy show. And also you don't get to tell your stories like you would at a typical 12-step group meeting. Book your own show if that's what you're looking for.

The show is Friday night at St. Malachy's High School at 8:00 PM . Tickets are only $12 and are available at Backstreet Records on Germain Street in Saint John ($1 surcharge on tickets purchased here), or at BayOfFunny.com or by calling me at 506-434-3186.

I hope to see you at the show!